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On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"And God, again saw that it was good.On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"And God agreed that it was good.On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back. I think they're at Stephanie's house, although I'm not sure, and they're supposed to be finishing their English essays which are due tomorrow, Monday. They're supposed to be writing their own essays, and I'm pretty sure they are.I'm imagining what they do when they take a break. I'm wondering whether they're horny all the time like I was when I was their age. It's a joke, really, something that every kid, at least every boy, discovers when he reaches puberty. You're hard all the time, it seems, even if you don't necessarily stay hard. Sitting on the school bus on the way to school can do it, if there are enough potholes and enough friction. Thank god most of us are beating off enough so that we don't come in our pants when that happens.I wonder if it feels to Stephanie and Julie that their skin is on fire, that every touch burns? Mine did. It was like a thousand tiny pricks on some days. Even a breeze was enough to set those little fire tongs going. I thought it would drive me crazy..
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